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Responding to “And I still think so…”

October 22, 2009

He wrote about loss and death, and I responded with a post; however, the post needs to be moderated and I don’t want to lose my thought, so here it is:

I can feel for you. My first loss (outside of my family loss of a grandmother I barely knew) was my best friend at 14 years old; she had a faulty heart and it killed her. For years, I felt I had to grab hold of everyone I loved, lest they be wrenched from the world and from me, leaving great, gaping holes in my heart and my psyche. And I lost more people in my life. When another good friend died (motorcycle accident in Mexico, almost 20 years ago), I realized that I couldn’t go on like that: I had to live. Really live. “Suck the marrow out of life.” Live all the good, all the wonder, so that when Death stares me in the face, I can go into it joyfully, arms wide, without regrets, to embark on a new adventure.

Of course, that doesn’t mean I don’t grieve when someone dies, but now it’s for the loss of their company and not the pain of me becoming a lesser person because they are no longer in the world.

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