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The only constant is change

May 25, 2011
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Life is changing on me again. Just a little bit of change, but change nonetheless, unsettling, disturbing, and vaguely threatening. You’d think that in a modern, constantly changing world that this would be a non-issue, that I’d have some acceptance, or at least tolerance, for change at every step, at every rising and setting of the sun. The latest craze becomes so-last-week in the blink of an eye… or a week.

Wherever would I find evidence that supports the idea that some things never change? Look closely at those so-called unchanging things, and, lo and behold, more change!

So, here I am, trying to digest it, as unpalatable as it might be.

Maybe it’s my ego. In this case, probably.

I have been comfortable in our little group, knowing everyone and everyone knowing me, warts and all. Well, maybe not the warts… But they know me and my foibles (and conversely…) so we work together with a courtesy that is part professional and part personal, enjoying the enjoyable parts and getting through the rest. We are each big fish in our little pond, the movers-and-shakers in our tiny corner of the universe.

Now…

Now we are part of something larger, with more people, more personalities, more… unknowns. It’s kindergarten all over again! Getting past “mine” to sharing. Learning each others’ limits and skills, joys and things-to-get-through. And discovering the unsavory bits that have to be dealt with, hopefully in some honorable way, maybe a face-saving way, so we can work together in our larger pond.

I hope I do better than I did in kindergarten, when solitude was my refuge in a cruel and unfair world of strangers and unfamiliar rules. Of course, I have a wider range of interests now, and other groups in which to participate; pressure in one group can feel less stressful when I participate in another group’s activities.

(Argentine tango has been heaven-sent: I have mastered sufficient skills that every partner and every dance is an entity unto itself, all-encompassing, meditative yet creative. Valley Tango is another home for my soul.)

Maybe I’ll get through this change without becoming too unbalanced. I hope…

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